My Other Yoga Teachers

I have wonderful yoga teachers - Fay, Mary Alice, Kate, Nikki, Tamara. They are wonderfully trained and thoughtful teachers and I learn so much from them. I look forward to their classes and can't wait to learn what they have to teach me.

And then there are the other teachers in my yoga class. The woman who comes in late and plops her dirty mat down next to mine. The woman who sighs and heaves through every pose (which is often a different one than the rest of us are doing.) The other woman who comes to class doused in Jean Nate' perfume.

I thought about whether I should try to learn something from these people. Tolerance. Acceptance. Whatever. They should respect the practice of yoga enough to get to class on time, not wear perfume, clean their mat and shut the eff up while they are breathing.

How To Wash Your Yoga Mat

While this post was inspired by one of my classmates who uses a once light blue mat, which is now streaked with brown dirt streaks, I'm sure there are more of you dirty-mat folks out there. This post is a tutorial in how, and why, to wash your yoga mat.

First of all - the Whys.

1. Your feet. They are dirty. Even if you showered. Did you go barefoot into the bathroom? Did any of your class mates? Did you walk anywhere a shod foot has fallen? Did any of your fellow barefoot yogis? Those little dirty birdy feet are the thing that most touch your mat.

2. Your mula banda area. If it's anything like mine by the time you are in paschimottanasana you've got a sweaty undercarriage. And now it's all over your mat.

3. Your tears. I know I'm not the only one who has ever cried on my mat. Although tears are clean. But still.

4. Your face. When your face hits the mat in child's pose, or maybe even upavishta konasana if you are lucky, how many days worth of feet and butt is it touching? When you kiss the ground, is it clean ground? (I know I'm not the only one who's kissed my yoga mat when I get my face all the way to the ground...)

5. Do you roll your mat? You've just rolled up hair (gag) and dust and ick onto the clean side of your mat. After class, fold it in half so dirty side touches dirty side and then fold gently a time or 2 more. Also, wiping it down with a damp cloth is nice too.

6. Saucha. Purity of the body. One of the niyamas of yoga. I think it also covers purity of the yoga mat. It is also why one should shower before yoga practice.

Your mat is your scared space. It is not like hiking shoes where the dirtier is the better and gives you street cred. Your yoga mat should be pristine, not covered with street crud. And while you may be proud of the sweat and tears (and blood?) that have fallen there, you do not need to let them stay on your mat in order for them to be imprinted on your soul. Everything is impermanent, but some of it needs our help to wash it off.

Now the How. I wash my mat every Sunday. It's a little ritual and comes after a tough Saturday class, and a frequently tough and sweaty (and at a gross studio) Sunday class.

Plop your mat into the bathtub.

Turn the water on. Hot or warm please.


Use a nice natural soap, this one smells like mint. And is the same kind my yoga studio uses. It smells so good! You can also just use plain water, or some baking soda, too.

You are using all your senses here. The smell of the soap. The sound of the water. The feel of the mat under your hands, the feel of your legs kneeling on the floor.


Spritz a few spritzes of soap into the tub.


After you've put the soap on it, get in there with your hands and scrub it, both sides under the running water.


Continue to scrub the mat with your hands, keeping the water running and rinsing it well.


You should be tired now from all the leaning and the scrubbing. Stay with your task. You are bathing the baby Buddha.


Now hang your mat on a drying rack in the tub, to catch the drips. It will be dry by morning.

Alternate method: shower with your mat after your Sunday yoga practice.

Do you wash your mat regularly? Will you start now?

Weekend Practice

Saturday and Sunday classes are usually the hardest days. Saturday because it's level 2 with a very good teacher, and because I'm usually out later on Friday nights. This past Friday night found me sitting at an adorable restaurant eating a cheese plate at 10:30pm, so I was sleepy for class. And freezing due to the weather. By the end of it I was awake and properly warm. We worked towards bird of paradise. I was the hatchling version - still curled a bit and wobbly on my feet. More practice of aparigraha (non-attachment to the outcome.) Then I took a 2 hour nap later in the day. Heaven.

Today's formal class was cancelled on account of Jesus rising from the dead, so I found a Shiva Rea DVD for some flow. She's a bit hard to follow, but the flow was fun and creative and I did about 45 minutes. After that I practiced my inversions. Still trying to get all the parts working together to hold me up away from the wall. I might need my teacher to not help me balance, but to watch while I try to do it and give me pointers - hips forward (or back?), toes up, hug in, core in, claw the ground. Something.

The funny thing about this one - this was at the end of a long line of attempts, I said "I'm done" with resignation and then there I am - up, for a few breaths.

Surrender. Aparigraha. And learning lessons that keep coming, since I clearly need to keep learning them.

The Secret Is At Your Fingertips

Today's class was so lovely. Some nice strong vinyasas to start with. I finally realized that if I dig in with the tips of my fingers I can counter balance my weight when come down from plank to chaturanga and go much slower and actually hover in chaturanga. Who knew the secret to yoga was at my fingertips? (And if they knew, why didn't they tell me sooner!)

We moved into hand stand, where again I tried using my finger tips (in addition to bandhas and core) to balance away from the wall. Working on it. Then on to forearm balance, better balance on that one. I just love that pose.

Now I'm at the office working on slides for a presentation. Hoping the yoga brain settles down a little so the slides don't turn into "just do yoga, it will solve all your problems."

Side Effects of Yoga

My lululemon groove pants are getting too big. I wash them in hot water and put them in the dryer until the cows come home, but all Saturday morning core planks have left them suitable only for home practice. Are there tailors who can tailor groove pants?

We won't speak of the 3 pairs of Ann Taylor pants sitting in my closet fresh from the dry cleaner that shant be worn again, lest we inflict on the world a case of Dumpy Bum and Baggy Crotch. Or the J Crew cords that fit me for a fleeting moment before my bum disappeared into the Sag.

Good bye, dear pants, I loved you well. And I will love your smaller siblings, too, just as I have learned to love all those core planks on Saturday mornings.

Fifteen

I put my weight into the Weight Watchers online tracker this morning and was rewarded with a bouncing star which meant that I had lost 15 pounds! (15.2 to be exact.) I have a ways to go but I am practicing aparigraha, which is the sanskrit word for non-clinging. I'm not clinging to the weight, and I'm not clinging to an outcome. I'm not clinging to the fact that 2 summers ago I was a lower weight than I am now. I'm just doing the things I need to do each day that keep my body healthy and happy and properly fueled. I'm just doing this for myself.

Last July I posted about How I Lost Zero Pounds With Yoga (and more). It's true. I didn't start losing until I joined Weight Watchers and really cut back on my food intake (and moved out of the house I hated.) What yoga does do is make all my pants too big even if the scale isn't moving much. And it makes biking better and easier. And it makes life better.

Yoga last night was lovely. We stared with some core work that my teacher loves, then moved to gomukasana (cow pose) to open our shoulders and then worked on pincha mayurasana. My right shoulder felt very good in it, and the teacher helped me balance for a bit. One of my favorite things is watching my friends get up into pincha mayurasana. (Shout out to Sprouts!) It is such a gorgeous pose and too see other people float up into it just brings me such joy.

I have a dozen and a half eggs in my fridge from my sister's chickens, and some asparagus and kale. I'm envisioning a fritatta for dinner. Lunch - leftover chicken and rice from Pa, along with the remaining bits of amazing potato salad that he makes with homemade mayonnaise. And some cut up oranges. Breakfast - english muffin with almond butter and banana.

Now I Do This

(The videos look stretchy, but when you hit play they will look normal)

Sometimes I do this now. I figured this out last weekend.



And when I can't balance yet in handstand or forearm balance I try to do things like this, and wonder why my back doesn't bend more, and why that hurts my shoulder so.



Over the winter I did this, at almost the top of a moutain


and looked like this before we got to the top when the weather was nicer.


I've also lost about 16 pounds, although with all the yoga my pants keep becoming too big even when the scale doesn't move that much.

And now that I've figured out how to post videos, I will probably blog more. Because on Saturday and Sunday nights I practice my inversions and tape them so I can see what is happening.

A Yoga Class I'd Like to Take

Enough people in the room so the energy was good, but not crowded. Lights down. Gaura Vani and his band in the front. Harmonium. Drum. Chanting. Then the teacher, and this is the most important part, instead of shouting over the music or talking incessantly through each pose, acts like a conductor - silent, or maybe just whispering the name of a pose and then the students are free to get in it, explore it, breathe. But the teacher is quiet. Silent. Until "tree" she whispers and we find our trees. They sway, they stand tall. "Flow" he whispers and we go where our flow takes us, with the music. "Floor" they whisper. And we make our way to the floor. Bending forward and back, doing what our bodies want all the while the music is playing. "Still" they whisper and we lie there, while they come around and tuck us in and we listen to the music.

And then we all wake up and sing.

Have Mat, Will Travel

This was where my bike ride took me. I had a broken spoke so I had to bag the ride and go to EMS for a repair. Except that they didn't open for an hour. So, I rolled out my mat, enjoyed the empty parking lot, blue sky and sea breeze and did a lovely 40 minute practice.

I started with some Sun As & Bs. Then did a series of triangle, parsvakonasana to ardha chandrasana. Prasarita Parsvattonasana with my head touching the ground (not quite up into tri pod headstand.) Some pigeon, upavishta konasana, janusirsasana, paschimottanasana. We haven't been doing many forward bends in class and I miss them. I tried crow which was made slightly more difficult by the slick coating of sun screen and bug spray that I had applied earlier, but it forced me to use my core more. I held the poses for 5 deep breaths, adjusting them and really feeling them without the noise of a teacher instructing me but still working from the inside out to express them.

Perfect.

It was nice to be outside. I think that is what has kept me from practicing at home with my low ceilings, I need more space. I want more space. And the continuous breeze even though the sun was on me felt so good.

I feel weirdly like I haven't moved enough today. I think because I was all prepared for a couple of hours of biking, and now my bike is in the shop (getting a lot of good things done) and it's too sunny to go out on my other bike and I'm covered in sweat and sun screen and bug spray and I feel all discombobulated. I should just go buy some cheese.

"I mean, I can't put my legs behind my head or anything."

This is what someone said to me the other day when we were talking about yoga. And I've heard it, or some variation of it, before.

You know what you never hear from a beginning runner? "I mean, I can't run an ultra-marathon yet or anything."

Or from a beginning cyclist? "I mean, I can't get up the Pyrenees with Lance or anything."

And yet people think that they need to come to yoga already being able to do all the things you learn in yoga.

When I re-started my practice this spring, the very first class I went to found me unable to bend my knee very much in warrior 2. My quads had not done any work in months and they wondered what on earth I was doing to them. My teacher wanted me to bend my leg more, but I just said "this is as far as it's going today." "I love it!" he exclaimed and we carried on.

We both knew that as I got stronger (which didn't take very long) my leg would bend and I'd have a nice right angle and we could then work on other stuff but for now (then) it was enough that I was on my mat.

I'm going mountain biking again this morning. I mean, I can't hop over a log and the trails aren't really steep, but I think I'll still have fun. : )

Ballet Class

(photo source.)

Yoga today felt like ballet class. In Russia. None of the lovely fun poses from yesterday, just hard hard work. As though we were standing at the barre doing the same positions over and over until our muscles ached. And as though someone was walking around with a switch. And all I wanted to do was pirouette around the room.

At one point during prasarita padottanasna C (standing wide legged forward bend) with our hands clasped behind out backs and then coming up over our heads as we leaned forward, the teacher came and stood beside me, planted her leg in front of mine (so I couldn't bend my knees) and then pushed my hands forward keeping her hand on my back so I couldn't come up. It was an alarming adjustment, mostly in my mind because it felt so uncharacteristically harsh, but also in my hamstrings. I held it with a twisted face trying to breath through it. I know I could have said "stop" and almost did, but I breathed instead. My hamstring was fine. My brain was not.

My Saturday teacher is a wonderful teacher, an Ashtangi, but physically the classes are so hard for me. A lot of junk was bubbling up in class today. That's another reason I find them so hard. In my other classes the teacher and I will talk a bit, laugh sometimes, while still working hard and making progress on things. On Saturdays, there is no release of that energy or frustration. It just bubbles and simmers and swirls around in my brain. I think that's why on Saturdays 80% of the time I end up crying by the end of class. Not huge blubbery crying, but yoga crying.

There are no more Saturday classes until Fall, so I'm going to use that time to build my home practice. I bought an Ashtanga DVD which I haven't watched yet. I feel like I want to use these next 6 weeks or so to get my head and my body in order so that these classes aren't so tough.

It is so humid today. I need to figure out what to do with the farmer's market veggies so they don't wilt all over the place. And then move them so I can hang out there.

When You Just Don't Feel Like It

This was what kept me home from yoga last night (and off my mat at home). Also, I think my couch's gravitational pull is stronger some days than other. I'll blame the random 2 a.m. wake up for skipping the 8 a.m. yoga class today. But I did sign up for 9:30 even though I don't really feel like going. It will get me out of the house and on with my other errands.

I need to practice at home more. If I am really serious about wanting to progress to the more difficult poses, I need to practice at home. (This is what I wrote this morning before leaving for yoga class.)

Then this is what we did in class.

And I actually did it! (Photo source. Bird of Paradise pose)

And this, crane pose. Which was awesome and strong. I try to remember Sadie Nardini when I do crow. I like her cues.

And 8 Crooked Limb Pose.

(Both from YogaJournal.com)

It was an awesome class and I felt good and strong. And so glad I went. I think I'm out of my yoga funk where I felt like I wasn't doing anything fun and challenging.

And we worked on my chaturanga to up-dog, I had been dipping down way to far and then couldn't get back up (but also couldn't stop before I got down too far) without putting my thighs down. My teacher now has me only going down as far as I can while still maintaining control in my arms, and then flipping into up dog. This means my chest is high off the ground, but it feels like I will progress better this way, and my alignment feels better too.

We'll see what tomorrow morning brings, and whether too many Jelly Belly jelly beans improve my practice or hinder it.

Scatterbrain

I felt like such a scatterbrain today! Twice at work I had that "oh, crap I forgot to do that!" feeling. Thankfully it was not related to client work, but still threw me off.

Then I had brought my yoga clothes so I could go to class after work and when I got to class I realized I had no pants. The studio has a boutique attached so I was able to buy some pants (and borrow a mat since I had forgotten mine) but again, it left me unsettled.

My practice didn't feel great but it did feel good to be practicing so early in the week. Even though I was the only one in class and had to hold warrior longer than I wanted so we could get my back femur doing one thing and my other inner thigh spiraling somewhere while my leg straightened by didn't hyperextend and my ankle muscle siezed into a mini charley horse.

Sunday I biked 17 miles so my legs appreciated the stretching. And last night I ate cheese for dinner and went to bed too early, waking up at 2:30 and not falling back asleep so my body appreciates the yoga, too. I knew that class would keep me out of the house during prime snacking hour and prevent me from crashing too early.

Zonked now and looking forward to sleep. Long, continuous sleep.

Floating Savasana

What a day! I am wiped out. But thankfully did not wipe out.

After this morning's intense yoga class my plan was to hang out inside all day to avoid the sun and heat. Then my friend emailed and said she had just gotten a new mountain bike and was going to the trails with her husband. Next thing I knew I was dressed and throwing my bike in the back of my SUV and out the door. If you can't beat the heat, join it!

How have I never gone mountain biking in my life?! It was so much fun! Being on the trails and having to constantly be paying attention and present so you don't fall or jam your pedal into a rock or wipe out in a big thing of mud is really a good time. It's like yoga, kind of, where if your mind gets all noisy you'll fall so you really have to pay attention and work but also trust your bike. Then you get to a calmer part of the trail and it's like resting in down dog.

We did about 8 miles in the woods, then a few on the road.

Finally home and showered and I decided not to swim since I was tired and drinking rose'. But then 6:30 rolled around and I knew the water would be awesome so I was back on that bike for a couple more miles to the beach.

The water was heavenly, and it turns out that a lot of people come back to my little beach in the evening and they bring dinner. It's very cute to see while I swim back and forth and float. Tonight I finished my swim with a floating savasana. Just lying back, totally relaxed, palms up, exactly like savasana on the floor but in the water. Ears just under the water so all I can hear is the rocks rolling against each other.

I think that must be what heaven is like.

How I Lost Zero Pounds With Yoga (and hiking, biking and swimming)

(me and Monadnock)

Back in March I started attending yoga classes on a regular basis, 4-5 days a week. Then as spring unfolded I began biking again, and hiking. Now that summer is here I've added swimming to my weekly activities.

I would love to be able to tell you that the yoga (and other stuff) helped me release the "extra" 30 pounds I've been carrying for a few years. How I've been amazed at how the weight melted off and I've had to get rid of all my clothes and can hardly believe I'm the same person. How my arms look like Madonna's, my quads rival Lance Armstrong's and my abs look like some awesome abs on some amazing person.

But none of that actually happened. And shows no sign of happening. I have no dropped one blessed pound.

Yes, my arms are getting defined, my quads are showing shape (we won't talk about the belly) my strength has increased since that first day in class when I could barely hold my second warrior, I can do upward bow pose, my inversions are better, I sort of kicked up into forearm balance yesterday, my dolphin is swimming and strong, I hung on during the Level 3 class this morning where my teachers were students along side me, I felt amazing and strong during my hike last weekend.

But, folks, I'm still overweight. I'll pause while you gasp and wonder what I must be eating to counteract the hundreds and thousands of calories I'm burning every week. (It's actually the same as I was eating while I sat around and did nothing and didn't lose weight.)

So, that's what's happening here. Yoga and hiking and biking and swimming won't magically make the weight fall off you. They will kick your butt and make you cry and soar and want to give high-fives to people, but they will do nothing at all to the number on the scale. And that's ok with me.

Lucky I Have Strong Legs Like My Mother

I inherited giant muscular calves from my mother. They will never be dainty and when I was younger I used to wonder if surgery to remove extra calf muscle was possible. (WTF?!) But, when I'm on my bike I appreciate the extra help. I pretend that I'm like Lance Armstrong with his specially built lungs that help his over the Pyrenees. My specially built legs help me over the hills of Cohasset. It's kind of the same, right?

I biked 16.25 miles today. I took the red mountain bike because it's slightly more comfortable to ride, but it is an albatross. It is so much heavier than the road bike and getting up hills on it is harder since I have less leverage. But I wanted sort of a slow scenic ride, and that's what I had, through the woods, along the ocean, past the beach where they were having a sand castle contest. I ran out of water at mile 14, which I didn't expect. Now I know to fill my Camelback up the whole way, and maybe throw in an extra bottle just in case. I was fine the rest of the way home, it was mostly down hill.

My right knee hurt for some of it, and now my right groin feels strained but I'm going to keep stretching it out and hopefully that will help.

Yesterday was a good yoga class, then a walk in the woods before having some drinks by the ocean.

I didn't start the C25K today because I really just wanted to be on my bike. Alternate plans are: go tonight (chances: slim to none) or go tomorrow morning (chances: good.)

Plans for now: re-fuel with some farmer's market pasta and the emergency cupcake I found stashed in the freezer.

Holiday, Celebrate

Someday I will do this. Madonna in a fancy pincha mayurasana/forearm balance. Borrowed from an email sent to me by Back Bay Yoga. She's an Ashtangi, of course.

This gives me hope. Because I think Madonna is 50 (pause to shudder at the thought of how quickly time flies) and she can do this. So maybe when I'm 50 I'll be able to do it.

Going to yoga this morning. Then the farmer's market. I'm going to stock up on things and freeze some of them to avoid having to go to Whole Foods during the week.

And I have a new bike helmet & bucket hat so my head will be nice and safe if I go for a bike or a swim or a walk.

Also, I'm having the crazy idea to do the Couch to 5K program so that I can do a mini-triathlon some day. Because I've got the biking and swimming part down, it seems a shame not to try running to put all the pieces together.

The Journey

I returned to the yoga studio today. Somehow the days slipped by with biking and walking and not yoga. "Somehow" is a cop out. There was no yoga because I didn't do yoga. No somehow about it.

Anyway, I always think that the one hour Friday morning class will be easy because it's an hour. Oh, no. Think again. Teacher and I both want me to get into forearm balance, which meant lots of dolphin and plank. And my favorite flow from parsvakonasana into ardha chandrasana, which felt much stronger and graceful than it has in the past. And I was able to do all my chaturanga dandhasanas with straight legs and then flip up into up-dog without dropping my hips and legs to the ground. It took some brute strength but I'll get to the graceful flow soon enough.

Then we worked on my forearm balance. I can get to down dog, and shift forward to put my shoulders about my elbows, and there the weakness sets in. My arms and shoulders and hands that feel so strong in other poses, just start to feel so weak. So we work. I lift one leg up, then the other. Then rest. Then do head stand to get me upside down, to work on lifting my shoulderblades up (down) my back. Then shoulderstand with my triceps pleading with me to be done.

At the end of Savasana, my teacher read this poem:

The Journey, by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

So, I'm off to stride deeper and deeper into the world, determined to save the only life I can save.

Passport To Prana & Studio Review

My friend Stacey and I recently bought Passport to Prana cards so that we can take a free class at 37 yoga studios around Boston (probably fewer than 37 since we'll mostly likely skip the hot classes.) We went to our first one yesterday.

I had been to Healing Tree Yoga in Quincy before, a few years ago. It's just slightly too far and through too much traffic for me to go to it regularly but it's a nice studio. Clean and well lit, but without lockers for your things so people's bag clutter the edges of the room. It doesn't have the nice cork flooring or high ceilings that my usual haunt has, and when class first started the air was absolutely still and I wondered what people have against a nice breeze and some fresh moving air.

Thankfully as class went on, an Anusara class, the instructor turned on the fans and the air since we were working quite hard on our Kali energy. It was a great class - with lots of grounding standing poses, and a fun trip into Wild Thing, a sort of upside-down down dog + side plank + back bend. I could tell during class how much stronger I've gotten these past few months. We also did some more dhanurasana, bow pose,

The class I went to a few years ago had an instructor who stayed up at the front of the room and basically did her yoga practice while we followed along. I don't like this kind of class since if I just wanted to watch someone and not receive any assistance I would do a DVD. In Nikki's class yesterday (as in other classes I've taken of hers) she'd demonstrate a pose for us, and then walk around the room checking our poses, offering suggestions, rooting our hips back into their sockets, reminding us to pull the head of our arm bones back and not letting us just hide in the back of the room to go through the motions.

It was the perfect class for a Sunday morning.

Today is slated to be hot and muggy, thank goodness I'll be in the office in AC all day! Hopefully a thunderstorm will roll through and cool things down later.

These Are Better Days

...better days are shinin' through.

That tricky Universe.

I decided to go to lunch time yoga today. I can't go tomorrow night and I figured that it would be a good complement to my bike ride. Well, when I got there the teacher announced that a photographer was coming to take some pictures for a magazine. Eek! My hair! No, actually, I thought "Cool, maybe I could be in a photo doing my sweet yoga moves."

And sweet moves we did. After warming up we decided that headstand might look nice, oh how about some urdva danurasana (upward bow), some ustrasana (camel) perhaps, a nice janu sirsasana (head to knee), and paschimottanasana with our feet together. Oh, and my new supta padangusthasana in which my angusta is in my hasta. What fun to just play around with our favorite poses. And have the photographer (who said she could do padmasana/lotus because "Oh, I'm 19" which gave us all a laugh) saying "wow, that is so cool."

I really hope one of the photos of me makes the cut. What fun that would be.

And then I went shopping, again, for things for my summer wardrobe. I went to the right store, with the amazingly helpful and funky ladies, and came away with 8 pieces that I feel and look fabulous in. Albuquerque mind, indeed, as Sylvia Boorstein puts it.

But it’s a sad man my friend who’s livin’ in his own skin
And can’t stand the company
Every fool’s got a reason for feelin’ sorry for himself
And turning his heart to stone
Tonight this fool’s halfway to heaven and just a mile outta hell
And I feel like I’m comin’ home

~Bruce, of course.

What shall we do tomorrow? The bike seat is fixed. Maybe another ride? What are you doing tomorrow?