A Return to the Kitchen

I've returned to the kitchen. The last few weeks (2 months) have again been riddled with the worst anxiety I've ever known.  I am hoping it is under control now.  And when you are dealing with adrenaline coursing through your veins, or where ever it courses, almost constantly, the last thing in the world that matters is how much you weigh. I would have taken 30 extra pounds to have felt better.  A side affect of all that anxiety was a complete aversion to food until I had to eat for fear of passing out - at which point I would try to eat something dense in calories like pizza or bread and butter.  There was about a week where I was eating nothing until dinner, and even then I was only getting about 800 calories.  And I didn't eat a I wasn't cooking, I wasn't preparing lunches, food was a chore, something to be choked down to keep me going. 

So, my weight loss has remained steady, maybe down a few pounds.  My exercise has mostly been walks with the dog, in between thunder and lightening storms.  (We are waiting for one to end now so we can head out.) The dog hates thunder, so she and I have been on a steady dose of Rescue Remedy.  I spray it in her water, and put it in mine. 

But today I bought groceries, and cooked them and ate them! I bought kale and froze it since it seems to wilt quickly, and cucumbers, zucchini, purslane which has more omega-3 fatty acids than any other vegetable, and chicken and bacon and yogurt. I got all the vegetables at the organic farm for $10.00.  What a bargain. 

These are the lovely pot stickers I made tonight:
The insides are ground turkey, ginger, garlic, egg whites, soy sauce, hot sesame oil, finely shredded napa cabbage (I used the food processor) and a few leaves of kale finely shredded. Broccoli minced in the food processor would be good, too. I got the little pot sticker maker in my stocking when I was young. I thought it was kind of odd at the time, but it turned out to be one of the best presents ever.
Here they are waiting to be put in the pan. The batch makes a lot. More than I can eat at once, so the rest I make and freeze on parchment paper, and then I put them in a zip-lock bag. They can made cooked from frozen, so they are a very easy, fast and healthy meal. And very fun to make.

Here they are sticking to the pan. First they are cooked with a little oil to get brown, then you throw in a 1/2 cup water and put the lid on so they can steam and cook for about 10 minutes, then you remove the lid to let the water all cook off. I just drizzle a little soy sauce on them, but I suppose you could make some sort of fancy dip.
They are one of my favorite meals. Other than the fajitas. But thinking about it, they are pretty similar to the fajita in that they are a meal all wrapped up in some sort of flour based container.  And they have kale in them. 

I have a feeling the dog and I will be walking in the rain tonight. But there are worse things than rain.  

What I've Been Up To

• Swimming on Saturday. Biked about 8 minutes to the beach and had a lovely swim. 
• Walking and trying to Swim on Sunday. Walked about 20 minutes to a different beach with the family, more waves and wind so not as much swimming. 
• Trying (and I believe succeeding) to get anxiety under control.  That sort of made whatever shape my body was in sort of irrelevant, which was why I haven't been blogging.  I've maintained my weight loss so far, but just not lost anymore. 
• Meditating on a semi-regular basis.
• Being very busy at work. 

I haven't kayaked this year yet, which is something on my list. And I haven't hiked yet. But I am working on my internal fitness as well as my external, and I have definitely been climbing some very high mountains in my mind!  

Alright, off to do my morning pages and to sit for a bit. 

Flying Bobs and Green Eggs

I went to the carnival last night with the boyfriend and his daughter.  She and I went on the Flying Bobs which was one of my favorite rides when I was younger.  It was SO MUCH FUN!! And much faster and scarier than I remember.  The only downside is that I have felt sick to my stomach since then. But it was still worth it. It felt like we were going to go flying off into space.
 
We walked down there, about a 10 or 15 minute walk, after having BLT's for dinner at his mom's house. It was a lovely lovely evening.

I slept in this morning, so no yoga. Breakfast was a banana muffin that the boyfriend's mom had given me the night before to take home for my breakfast . Lunch was this delightful mix of eggs, kale and garlic scapes from the organic farm. It tasted like a kale frittata and was quite good cold.  It looks kind of small sitting in the bowl, but it was 4 large kale leaves, 2 eggs and 3 garlic scapes and some olive oil. 

Depending on the weather and the tide, I might take a bike ride down to the beach for a swim after work.  

Lunch Time Report

The rice/bean/salsa mixture actually turned out well. I had wanted to saute some veggies and then simmer the beans with it for a while, but I didn't want to heat up the house so I will do that next time. This time I just drizzled some olive oil over the mix, which added some healthy fats. It is very tasty! And I bet some of those mango sausages that Amy wants to marry would go very well!

Yoga Mood-rah

More yoga this morning. This time it was 30 minutes from the Kripalu Moderate Yoga CD. Table poses and standing poses and some forward bends. My poor hamstrings were a bit shakey during some of the forward bends. I didn't realize that I'd stretched them so much with Seane Corn, but I guess I did. I was in a bit of a funk this morning and was hoping the yoga would lift my mood. I'm not sure if it did.

Breakfast was eggs, broken into the pan and scrambled with the spatula since I was too lazy to prescramble them. Lunch is an odd mixture of brown rice, black beans and salsa. I have some plain yogurt and raisins and a little peanut butter as a snack. It was starting to get hot in my house this morning, so I was just sort to throwing things into containers.

Sore Arms and

I can tell that I did yoga yesterday. All of those (that?) chaturanga are making themselves known in my triceps, and my hamstrings can tell that they did something yesterday and my sides know there were twists involved. It feels good, though.

The party was nice yesterday. We had hamburgers with homemade ketchup (not made by me) and some yummy goat cheese brought and some garden lettuce and lots of fun.

I slept until a little before 7 today, so I didn't walk but I did sit for about 10 minutes.

And because it was muggy and I didn't have any bread, I had no breakfast and couldn't figure out what to bring for lunch that didn't involve cooking. What I ended up with was a bowl to cook the mushroom soup that I have here at the office, and then I put some of the brown rice into the Bento with a dab of butter, and put some peanut butter and raisins in the other section of the Bento and figured that should get me most of the way through the day. I'm about to go heat up the brown rice for breakfast.

I might try tracking my calories on Sparkpeople again for a little while. Just for kicks.

Sunday Salutations

I went to the organic farm yesterday. They have eggs out at 11 am on Saturdays, but since there is usually a big line for them I decided to go at 11:30 and not bother with the eggs. Well, when I got there they were down to 2 bunches of kale! which I quickly bagged up, and then I turned around to see what else they had and there was a dozen eggs left! What luck! I also got some arugula, and garlic scapes which are the top of the garlic plant and a nice mild addition to a salad or stirfry. So, lunch was tofu, kale, garlic scapes, 1/2 a zucchini and an egg, over a bit of brown rice that I finally got around to making. It was very good. And I got a little bunch of sweet pea blossoms.

I walked yesterday for a bit, nothing strenuous, and I lifted my hand weights.

This morning I did 45 minutes of a 90 minute vinyasa flow with Seane Corn. I've embedded the video here so you can see that she talks quite fast and is much more intense then the soothing calm of Shiva Rea that I'm used to.


But the practice was nice once she settled down. She was good about making sure you were in the correct position of a pose before moving on, which is what I like. It was a sweaty workout, which was probably a combination of the actual workout and the humidity.

The plan for the day is to go to my mom's for a party, with the Boy and the Girl, and the rest of the family.

Still Moving

I walked this morning for 30 minutes. And I've decided to work from home today. Which means I can go to the farm stand at some point and get some more kale. And I can sit at a window and work and hope it doesn't get too hot.

Breakfast was walnut raisin bread. Lunch will most likely be tofu/kale/egg.

Frozen Tofu = Yum

After I made yesterday's lunch, I cut the rest of the tofu into 4 oz. blocks, and threw them in the freezer in zip lock bags. Freezing tofu makes for a firmer texture (and prevents the weird pink slime that grows on it if you don't eat it soon enough after opening the package.)

This morning I took the tofu out the thaw for maybe 1/2 hour, then rinsed it under warm water to get some of the ice off. Then I made the same lunch as yesterday - pan seared tofu (let it cook on its own for a while to get brown on a few sides), kale, garlic scapes, zucchini, and egg. Seasoned with Braggs, chinese 5 spice, and hot sesame oil. The texture of the tofu was much better today. I think next time I will press it before I freeze it.

Up too late to walk today, but I did sit and meditate for about 7 minutes. Breakfast was walnut raisin bread with buffalo butter (non-homemade). I am committing to 1000 minutes of exercise for the month of July. Whether I feel like exercising or not. And now I'm wondering if the water is warm enough for swimming yet...

For your reading pleasure, 2 new articles from the New York Times:

Lying about your vegetables

11 Best Foods You Aren't Eating

1. Beets:
2. Cabbage:.
3. Swiss chard:
5. Pomegranate juice:
6. Dried plums:
7. Pumpkin seeds:
8. Sardines:
9. Turmeric:
10. Frozen blueberries:
11. Canned pumpkin: