Finding Balance

A break from yoga classes today. My favorite teacher wasn't teaching, in her place was a teacher who used to be an Olympic swimmer, and I was, I admit, afraid.

So, I came home and had rib-eye, rice, mushrooms and cauliflower for dinner. And some jelly beans. And some wine. I feel like I'm eating too much rice lately, but it's fast (since it's white basmati) and it's a good base for my meals.

I also cleaned the kitchen and prepped lunch for tomorrow - the other half of the rib-eye, 1/2 cup rice, cauliflower, pear, banana... Needs something green or orange. Maybe carrot sticks? And an orange with breakfast. It will be a nice change from the lentil/collards/rice that I've been having the last couple of days.

A Chorus Line is my favorite musical. And every time I walk up the steps to yoga class, I sing in my head "up a steep and very narrow stairway, to the voice like a metrono-ome, up a steep and very narrow stairway, it wasn't paradise, it wasn't paradise, it wasn't paradise but it was home." But it is paradise, and it's starting to feel like home.

It's Emily Gilmore!

Little Old Lady Yoga

(Triangle pose. Image from Yoga Journal, link below)

I went to little old lady yoga night. It was the "foundation" class, and there were a bunch of little old ladies in the class. It was a nice change from last night's class. We went back to basics, which I love. And not just becuase my trikonasana is "beautiful."

And we did tree pose, which I normally stumble around in, but this time I used a tree outside as my focal point and became the tree and was steady and calm.

I wasn't really hungry when I got home, but some how managed to eat 2 servings of rice, leeks, mushrooms and shrimp. And a little wine. And some chocolate for dessert.

Now watching the Biggest Loser. They need more supportive bras for those poor girls.

Making Lunch Last Longer

Yesterday's lunch made me realized that I needed to add something a little longer lasting to today's lunch. So, onto the lentil, rice and collard mixture I drizzled about a tablespoon of olive oil. I think that will hold me over through yoga class at 6pm. I hope. If not, there is emergency chocolate in my car.

I ate the egg salad that I had planned to have at 4pm, at 10am... but I figure better to fuel my body early in the day. I have an apple, banana and pear to eat in the afternoon.

And my co-worker made these awesome vegan oatmeal cookies from Kripalu so I had one of those. It was about the size of 1/2 a golf ball and really tasty! If left unattended with them I'd probably eat the entire batch, so I might only make them myself if I have somewhere to bring them.

Very much looking forward to my yoga class tonight. Wondering what fun things we'll do!

Holy Handstand

(photo from Yoga Journal, link below)

I think I have found my yoga home. Went to class tonight - 4 other young women besides me. The teacher said she could tell we all had a good foundation so we could play. So, we played with handstand and after some kicking - including with the teacher standing behind me at one point (to guide me) so I felt like I was going to kick her in the face when I got up - I got up! And stayed up for a few breaths and then said "yay!" and then came gracefully down.

We also practiced Urdhva Dhanurasana, wheel pose. (Why they chose a man to model that pose is a mystery...) I can't get up that high yet, but I got up further than I'd ever gone before.

And the teacher used me as an example of how to take a perfectly aligned triangle pose and throw your heart open and back. The nerd in me rejoiced to be the example, and all those years of doing Trikonasana imagining I was between 2 planes of glass, paid off when I could bring my bottom hand out, and joyfully throw my upper hand, chest and head back as my heart shown out.

Rewinding to the middle of the day - lunch just did not leave me filled. I came home around 3 and had some egg salad wrapped in steamed collard leaves, which has the potential to be good but needs some tweaking, and an english muffin. Then, since I was awake rather early this morning, I took a nap before class. I slept, despite the neighbor's leave blower or well drilling or something.

Yoga energized me and makes me happy.

Om and Nom

My yoga mini-marathan of 4 classes in 2 days is over. It wasn't really a marathan - it was like a heavenly glide down a river, with someone tucking you in at the end and then singing to you. Seriously. The teacher has this amazing voice and sings a sanskrit poem at the end of class, after tucking blankets around us for savasana, corpse pose, the final relaxation. Om.

Dinner was 2 slices of pizza, wine and cookies (cookies from the studio open house.) Nom.

And somehow it's almost 8pm, which means it's almost bedtime!

Down and down dog.

(tree pose. still working on mine.)

Down another 1.4 lbs. from the 13th. Nice. I think it must be the yoga. My legs are getting stronger, my quadriceps are returning, and I'm getting leaner. Almost 6 pounds total from the beginning of April.

My eating is off today. I didn't have breakfast until I realized I wanted to go to 11am yoga, and it was 10:30. So I scarfed down a little Ezekial cereal with milk and took an apple with me. The yoga wasn't too strenuous so that held me until I go home. Lunch was some hummus and pita while I waited for lentils to cook, which take longer than I thought. Finally I had some lentils and rice with carrots.

Now I want a burrito, cup-cakes and pizza. Or a pear.

Happy Yoga-day!

So, as I mentioned the yoga studio near my house is having their grand opening this week and they are doing free classes this weekend with some half-hour classes so you can try different styles.

I first went to an Anusara style classe which is billed as a joyful, heart-opening class. Who doesn't need that? It was opposite a kid's class, which was fun because while I was in the room by myself waiting for class (and doing a couple of carthwheels) a swarm of children rushed in and their energy burst about the room until they were ushered into their classroom. That was a fun start. We just did some standing poses and some twists, and the teacher gave really good adjustments and helped me get further into the poses than I was going on my own. There were only 2 students, so we got very good attention.

The second class was Viniyoga for the lower back. I often get a weird pain in my right hip so this was helpful to me. Again, there were only 2 people in the class so we got individual attention. It's not my favorite style, but it was good to realize that bridge pose is helpful and that I should do it more often.

Then I came home and made a very good leek and mushroom fritatta that I ate before I could photograph.

May be returning to the 5pm restorative class. Yum!

Post-Cleanse Shopping

A little wrap-up of today's meals:

breakfast: pear;

second breakfast: little rice and brisket, grapefruit;

lunch: weird things from Whole Foods Salad bar that I didn't want and only ate a few bites of, glass of whole milk.

snack: carrots and hummus.

dinner: shrimp and garlic in oil with crushed red pepper over rice. My body had declared a vegetable-free dinner for the love of God! Really, it said "for the love of God, no more veggies!" What a lovely spicy garlicky dinner.

My post-cleanse shopping trip. Some changes - a small container of hummus instead of a big one. No pita bread. Un-homogenized milk aka cream-on-top. Yum. Wine. Leeks, pineapple, apple, mushrooms, kale, Ezekiel sprouted cereal and a spaghetti squash. I have never cooked a spaghetti squash or eaten it and am going to try it this weekend.

The yoga studio near my house is having their grand opening this weekend and there are free classes all weekend. I'm going to try a few new classes, including restorative ones on Saturday and Sunday night.

Now, going to work on my Vision Board!

Easing Out

I'm easing out of the cleanse. I think I've gotten what I need out of it. I went out with friends after work and had a glass of wine and 2 scallops, and then half a roll with butter. That right there is a big change, half a roll. Not the whole thing eaten automatically, but hunger felt, and roll eaten slowly until hunger abated. Although I will say that I was taking more than a second glace at the plates of salmon and french fries coming out of the kitchen at the restaurant...

Then to home where I made some brisket, rice and cauliflower. Stopped eating when I was full, one small bowl. Not the huge serving I would usually have. And now what am I craving? Pineapple and water. But I'm having an orange because it's easier to prepare than cutting the entire pineapple right now.

Or maybe I'm easing into a new way of eating. Either way, I feel good.

Sleep!

(breakfast musli, before the milk)

I slept like a rock last night. I was very full when I went to bed, the dinner that kept me hungry for hours decided to make my belly too full when I wanted to go to sleep. But I knew it was mostly veggies and would easily digest. Which it did and I slept through the entire night (no small feat here sometimes.)

My hips have caught on to the fact that I did 2 yoga classes in 12 hours and I think all the work I did yesterday morning trying to rotate my femurs towards the back of the room has caused this strange walk this morning. But they feel good and open and the twinge in my lower back is gone.

I found these recipes on the Kripalu website, and might make Millet Cauliflower Mash tonight. There are a ton of yummy recipes on that site!

The Test

(dinosaur kale)

Tonight I'm home from work at 5. And I'm hungry. I want to pick. Monday I had my massage, so I wasn't home until 6:30. Yesterday I was out at yoga until almost 7. I got home those nights and calmly made dinner. I avoided the 5 o'clock hungries. But now here I am with great swaths of time before me and I'm hungry. I knew this would happen, which was why I scheduled out-of-the-house time the first few nights.

My sister who was doing this with me, sort of, emailed to say she ate egg salad. Not helpful. I love egg salad. And I have to cook a brisket that I was corning for my other sister (before I started this). Not helpful. I love brisket.

And I don't want lentils.

Ok, breathe. Think. What is there? Leeks, mushrooms, kale. A great big saute with some basmati rice? Yes.

....

Ah, rice is done. Olive oil is drizzled. Veggies are done. Dinner is served. Brisket is safely in the pan and cooking. Hungries have died down. Crisis averted. English muffin spotted at the back of the freezer not eaten.

Feeling this hunger is like holding a yoga pose. Breathe. Trust your body. Find your edge.

Now, what's for dessert?

P.S. Dessert was a bit of brisket. Grass-fed, happy, home-made, salty, delicious brisket.

Deep Cleansing Breaths

(fruit in my kitchen)

The coffee was definitely a good choice this morning. No foggy head today. Lunch was lentils and rice with collards and eggplant, and I was very excited to find that I had brought a small container of cauliflower with a little potato and mushroom.

I think this cleanse was good because it stripped away so many (all) of the things I had come to rely on to eat - bread & butter (I think that's genetic. My mother sometimes has bread and butter for dinner), the pretzels at work that aren't even satisfying but provide me with a distraction, ditto on the Newman's oreos at work, ditto on the granola bars at work, pasta servings that creep up and up in size. I don't really eat "junk" but I had gotten into a habit of eating all of whatever I'd made. Which is OK when it's all veggies, but doesn't feel good when it's other things.

I had also stopped putting thought into what I was eating, which left me with no packed lunch, and rushing to find something to bring to work, and not having it be nutritionally satisfying or filling, which lead to picking at snacks in the office, and then being hungry when I got home and not having the patience to put thought into dinner, and so on.

I had also cut back on exercise over the last few months. I wasn't moving and treating my body like I should. And now the more I move, the more I move. I went to yoga last night at 5:30, and was back on the mat at 6am feeling stronger than ever.

And now I am building this habit of reaching for fruit and veggies as my first line of defense, not as an afterthought. That is the value of this cleanse to me, not so much the "cleanse" but the chance to build new habits in the safety and boundaries of the cleanse. To have the options removed by some outside force, so I'm able to rebuild with the foundations. Then, once I have down the forming of my meals around plants, the eggs and meat and bread and butter can come back in, without hogging all the space like they did before.

Like Kripalu, But With My Own Bed. And Coffee

I woke up at 4:45 this morning after a heavenly 7 hours of straight sleep which meant I could go to 6am yoga at Dancing Crow Yoga. I love the 6am class. It's a new studio so I'm the only other student there, so far. This means that we can work on things like the difference between up-dog and cobra, and how to properly do chaturanga so my left triceps doesn't feel like it's going to pop off my elbow.

My body feels so good and strong.

Like Kripalu, But With More Driving

(rocky place with Ganesha at Kripalu. Taken by me. Fall 2008)

Today was like a day at Kripalu, but with work and driving (and Biggest Loser on Hulu while I clean the kitchen later.)

I had acupuncture after work. I think she found the point that will cure all my ills. When she put the needles in my wrists it hurt! And continued to "feel heavy" as she put it while I lay there, lucid dreaming, my hands and feet twitching every so often, falling deeper and deeper into the most supreme relaxation and then - just like that - awake, energized.

My meals have been perfect today. Just what I am needing. After work, I had a small bowl of musli with milk because I wanted to go to yoga class and was feeling a bit yucky. I figured my choices were: have musli & milk and an apple, feel good and go to yoga, or stay home and fix some veggies. So, I opted for the former.

Yoga was awesome. It was at a new-to-me studio called Art & Soul Space. It borders a wildlife habitat so the whole time you are doing yoga you can watch the gulls flying, the cardinals hopping about in a bush and the marsh grasses swaying in the wind. It was a nice hatha yoga class with some little old ladies, but what sealed it for me was the calf squeeze and head massage given by the teacher during savasana. Holy cow, what a way to end class. I will be back.

Of course I was dreaming about cauliflower and steamed some when I got home. But I wanted something more substantial so I also boiled a couple of small red potatoes and sauteed some mushrooms and onions, and sprinkled it all with rosemary and salt and pepper. As good as the fajitas I was imagining on the way home. (I don't know why I was imagining fajitas.) One bowl, and I feel good. I go back for a second bowl and pause before eating. Am I hungry still? Do I just want to eat a mushroom and really taste it? And then put the bowl back down. The food will be there in a few minutes if I'm still hungry. My hunger will be there tomorrow if there is still food. Pause. Breathe.

Why have I neglected vegetables for so long? Is it because they create scraps that I then have to truck out to the compost pile? Because they aren't in my fridge usually so I have to remember to buy them? Because they need to be cleaned and chopped and meat can just be thrown in a pan? Because it was winter and all I wanted to eat were root vegetables and hearty greens? Oh, how my body is longing for the asparagus and bitter greens of spring. Soon. Soon.

Realizing I'd better get started cleaning the kitchen and will probably have to watch the Biggest Loser in 2 parts, since it won't be done until 9:30 which is late!

Good night!

Third Day, same as the Second

(pineapple for today's lunch. the lentils, rice & collards weren't as pretty.)

Still feeling good. My pear and tea held me over until around 10 when I had my bananas. I'm hungrier for lunch earlier now, so I'm having pineapple and lentils with rice and collards. And stopping between bites to breathe and digest, so I don't just shovel it all in and then feel hungry still.

The only weird thing I feel is my eyes - they feel sort of itchy and puffy. Not in an allergy way, I'm not sure what it is. It's been like that for a couple of days.

Also, the cleanse has not cured my insomnia. I was awak from 2:30 to 4 am this morning. I keep catching parts of an interview with Temple Grandin that airs on the BBC around that time but I always fall asleep before it ends.

In continuing with my mini-retreat, I have an acupuncture appointment today to try to help with the insomnia. I went last week, too, so hopefully the cumulative treatments will help.

P.S. I want candy.

Coffee Free Again

(one of the collard leaves I'm chopping and steaming for lunch)

Day 3 of cleanse. Grains are added back in today. I've been having small amounts of grains already, so I'll just stick with those - 1/2 cup tiny black lentils, 1/2 cup rice at lunch.

I'm back having my yogi tea for breakfast. I missed it's zest and flavor. I woke up not too hungry, and even now, having been up for an hour, I'm not ready for my pear.

I realized that most everything I ate yesterday was white (pear, banana, cauliflower, etc.) so today I'm making an effort to get more color in. I chopped and steamed a bunch of collards to have with lunch, and will work in an orange or grapefruit and have strawberries again. Maybe my eggplant counted as purple, even though the flesh is white...

Ok, now I want my pear.

Happy cleansing everyone!

P.S. Down another 1.2 lbs.

The Comfort of Cauliflower

As I was getting my massage this afternoon (heavenly!) I was thinking about dinner. I was imagining coming home and steaming a head of cauliflower and eating it with some Braggs Amino Acids. So I did.

My goodness! Who would ever have thought I'd be dreaming about cauliflower. And that having it (and just it!) for dinner would satisfy me?

This time of day is definitely hardest for me. I'm used to breakfast and lunch being set meals, with fixed servings. But dinner time tends to be when I pick and sip and nosh. So, sitting and feeling my full stomach, breathing and knowing that the cauliflower and everything else I ate today can sustain me. (I will say though, that at 75 calories for 3 cups, cauliflower is not one of the heartier veggies.) I had about 1/2 cup of milk too. Because I love it.

Lunch was lentils & rice (1 cup), pineapple, 2 cups strawberries and 1/2 cup eggplant.

Nutrition roundup for the day:

Calories: 838

Fat: 8 grams

Carbs: 187 grams.

Protein: 25 grams.

Fiber: 35 grams.

I had coffee this morning and actually missed my yogi tea, so I'll be returning to that tomorrow. And grains are officially introduced tomorrow so my day will look pretty much like today, except that I want to go to yoga after work so I may have some muesli cereal before class for energy.

I'm going to go for my evening walk. And may have a banana or something. I feel like I need a few more calories.

ETA: Had a banana and a glass of milk. Feel mostly human again. Went for a walk. Am planning to eat the same breakfast and lunch tomorrow, with the addition of collards at lunch, so I don't have to give things too much thought. Unless I am inspired in the morning. Now I just want sleep.

Self Care During a Cleanse

It only seems right to get a massage during a cleanse. So, that's what I'll be doing after work today. Getting my yoga-stretched muscles and lymph system wrung out further. It's like I'm building a mini retreat during this time, which is important. And very possible even though I'm working.

There is a yoga class tomorrow after work that I've been meaning to attend for a few weeks, so I will plan on that as well.

I'm feeling good so far today. Breakfast was a pear around 7, then 2 bananas around 9 and 10. I'm ready for lunch now and may eat my rice and lentils so that I can get through the remainder of the afternoon without thinking about food so frequently. It's 1/2 cup of rice, 1/2 cup of small black lentils. With some eggplant. Well, first some strawberries.

My main complaint with this is the very frequent need to pee. I'm hoping that will go away over the next couple of days, although I know it is good for my kidneys. And the fact that my bananas were less ripe than I like. But other than that it's fine. I'm counting my calories on Sparkpeople and have "emergency" healthy grains with me so I'm not tempted to eat the pretzals or oreos in the office.

This has also made me wonder why we keep pretzals and crackers and granola bars as office snacks and not a bowl of fruit. How easy would it be to just pick up apples, oranges and bananas at Whole Foods on Monday morning and then have them at the office all week? Anything not eaten by Thursday could just be taken home (we don't go into the office on Fridays.) I'm going to start this next week.

Also what I'm learning is that since my lentils and rice are limited, I'm eating more slowly, really tasting them, and thinking with each bite "am I still hungry? am I full?" And I'm noticing the flavors of the rice (it has Indian spices in it - fennel and mustard seeds), of the lentils (cooking with a vegan broth cube made them so yummy!), and the bite of the eggplant.

Something else to think about keeping at the office - sneakers and socks for an afternoon pick-me-up walk.

Have you ever done a cleanse? Are you doing the same one I am?

3 pounds!

I've lost 3 pounds. That is no small feat. Now, much of it may be water weight - my system was bloated with water I think from all the salt I had been eating (I love salt). But with mostly fruits and veggies yesterday, and a lot of water, and my magic yogi tea, and yoga with twists, my system was wrung out and some of the excess water I've been lugging around is gone!

I'm having coffee this morning. I put just a little maple syrup in it instead of my usual white sugar. It's less sweet in a nice way.

I had planned on having museuli with milk for breakfast, thinking I needed grains, but I'm feeling not too hungry so I think I'll just listen to my body and see what it wants, instead of mindlessly making and eating my breakfast.

The nutritional round-up for yesterdays meals was:

Cals. 1360 (what Sparkpeople says is the minimum per day for me. Probably could have eaten fewer and been ok)

Fat 30 grams (I had a hardboiled egg at breakfast, and some milk throughout the day, and the rice had some ghee in it. The cleanse is supposed to be non-fat, but that is about half the fat I normally have in a day, so I'm ok with it.)

Carbs: 217 grams (range is 181-262.)

Protein: 51 grams (much lower than I usually eat, and below the SP range of 60-141. But not bad.)

Fiber: 38 grams. I usually eat around 20, ideal is 25-25, so this was a good change.

Overall, I feel good and ready to take on the day!

Lentils for Laine

So, my dinner was not eggplant. It was lentils and rice. And lovely. I want to throw all the fruits in my kitchen out the window. Which I'm sure will pass by tomorrow. But really, my path is the middle path. I could not be vegan or do Atkins or just eat fruits and veggies even for 2 days. Even when I was at Kripalu for a week, by day 4 I was ready to throw the kale and millet across the room. But then I found the sandwich bar with the corned beef and made a reuban and all was right with the world again.

This is what I will keep up:

1. Hydrating. I had fallen behind on my water drinking lately and I can tell these last 2 days of lots of water have really helped. And made me pee 87 times.

2. More lentils. I love lentils. Especially this batch I made with veggie broth. So much flavor and deliciousness.

3. More veggies.

4. Fruit. I don't eat enough fruit. Usually because I don't like to buy the ones that come to America on a airplane, so I try to keep it to things from the lower 48 states. Too local and I'd never eat anything but apples.

5. Yoga. I've been doing more yoga lately and want to keep it up. Which I can't do when there is an entire pineapple in my stomach.

Alright, enough sitting around and blogging. I'm going for my evening constitutional and then packing lunch for tomorow.

A Girl Needs Grains, And Protein

While it's nice to think that I have the stomach capacity to fit 87 cups of veggies, I just don't. And if what I'm eating (or not eating) is leaving me tired and listless on the couch on a gorgeous day, it's not going to work (that holds true just as if I had just eaten an entire deep dish pizza and couldn't move. Although the energy from not eating is more quickly remedied than recovering from overeating). So, I had a litte bowl of museli with milk and almonds and feel more human again. And am no longer constantly thinking about food.

I will continue on this path, making adjustments mindfully as my body needs them. Already I have figured out that eating more veggies than I have been lately is a good thing. And easy to do. And I remembered how much I love cauliflower.

I want to have the energy to walk and do yoga. And this is a continuing journey. So there may come a time when I have the time and space to do a different version of this cleanse. Or another.

For now the plan is:

Dinner: potato and leek soup with veggie broth.

Edited to Add: potatoes are sprouting. Dinner will be eggplant and some lentils. And an evening walk.

Spring Cleanse Day 1 - What's for Lunch?

I went to yoga. I prepared a travel mug of yogi tea with a little maple syrup and a dash of milk to revive me after class. It was perfect. I also brought an orange, which was not perfect.

Now it's lunch and I'm hungry. Having half a pineapple. I need to be careful not to eat too much citrus or I'll end up with a sore mouth. And I need something other than this pineapple for lunch. Oooh, maybe some lightly steamed cauliflower? Except that 1.5 cups of cauliflower apparently has 43 calories.

Things to remember:

1. I have 30 pounds of excess weight on me and am not going to keel over and die during 2 days of fruits and veggies.

2. There are plenty of calories in these foods to sustain me during this time.

3. There is plenty of variety to keep my attention.

4. Reading restaurant menus on-line isn't a good activity.

5. Pause. Breathe. Drink water. Breathe again.

6. There is plenty of food in the house if you need to eat it. Go outside and do something else.

So far I've had about 600 calories today. I may have some rice at dinner. My stomach is not used to eating huge volumes of food, I'm more of a smaller serving, concentrated nutrients sort of eater.

Steamed cauliflower with Braggs = yum.

An Attempt to De-Slug

Operating under the theory that there are no coincidences, I decided to try a 7 day food-based cleanse when I saw it on my friend Stacey Shipman's blog. Visit Stacey's site to watch an interview with Kat Ogar, and then check out her site.

The basic gist of it is that for the first 2 days you just eat fruits and veggies, on day 3 you add grains, then day 6 you add nuts and oils, sprouted grain breads and nut butters. Days 7 and 8 you ease back into a healthy, normal diet.

A few things. I wish the program started on a Friday so that you had the whole weekend to adjust to the beginning stages of this. If you have the luxury of not having outside-the-home responsibilities during this time, I think it's probably easier to do. I can't really say to my clients "sorry I messed up your case, I was doing a cleanse." But, I will just watch to make sure I'm getting around 1000-1200 cals per day and there is probably enough stuff stored in my body that my brain won't fall apart in a few days. I think if I do it again, maybe at the beginning of summer, I would start on a Friday. I discovered this right before it started so there wasn't a lot of time to plan. And in the summer there will be a bounty of local veggies!

Also, I've decided that maple syrup is a vegetable, and will be having a little in my yogi tea. So yummy and spicy and delicious and cleansing for the body, as well. No, not that type of cleansing, just your organs and your blood and things. The maple syrup is from the trees near my dad's house, so that's the other reason I'm letting it in. I know the trees it came from.

Also, I'm not doing 100% raw fruits and veggies. I don't happen to believe that raw food is superior, and I think I wouldn't stick to the cleanse because I'd run out of things I can eat raw. So, I stewed some apples and strawberries with a little of the yogi tea for breakfast, and will probably roast some veggies for dinner, and have a combo of raw fruits and veggies for lunch. The stewed fruits are quite good, and as I poured out some of the juice to save it I thought "ooh, I can use this as dressing on my salad."

I am on day 2 of no coffee. A huge change for me. But the yogi tea satisfies my need for something warm in the morning and something to sip during my morning routine, and I so far don't miss the coffee at all. No headaches or anything like that.

Today will involve prepping the pineapple and various vegetables so that they are ready when I want to eat them. And checking out some recipes.

I tried to go to a class on Ayurveda and yoga yesterday, but it was canceled, which bummed me out. I have been wanting to learn more about Ayurveda for a long time and haven't really found any practitioners or classes around here.

I did a yin yoga class on Friday night at a studio. It was heavenly. And hard. But I slept like a rock that night. There are 2 possible yoga classes today, at 10:15 or 4pm. I may head to the 10:15. I'm going to do at least 20 minutes of yoga per day.

And it's my birthday. I'm 38. What better way to turn 38 than by being mindful of what is going in my body!

The Slug Also Rises

It is very weird to find that when I once again begin biking and yogaing I gain weight. Like 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Come on now people.

I went to 6 am yoga today and was the only one there. How awesome is a private yoga class? As awesome as you'd imagine. Such work on alignment, the little tweaks that take the pose from ordinary to "hello hamstring!"

I went to visit my dad a couple of weekends ago and did two 2-hour long hikes with him. My 76 year old father is in better shape than I am. But I think he's in better shape than 90% of people... We hiked Mt. Washington together 10 years ago and I'd love to do that again. But in good enough shape that it's enjoyable. And that comes about through regular biking and yoga and cardiovascular work.

What I want is strong lungs and strong legs so I can hike and bike and do my yoga. And I want good balance so some day when I'm old won't fall. That's all.

And I want good consistent sleep, not the 3:30am wake ups. 4:30 is fine because you can sort of get up then and have a productive day, but 3:30 you are awake until 5 then back asleep until 7 which is not good. Acupuncture visit tomorrow and Ayurveda class on Saturday. (And turning 38 on Sunday. Eep.)

P.S. I belong to 2 gyms. I have been to one gym once since I joined, and the other one I tried to go to on Easter Sunday to a boot camp class but it was canceled so I left and went home and rode my bike 11 miles. I think belonging to a gym motivates me to work out more outside the gym.

And the slug scurries back out of the rain

The rain has returned. And I carried my gym clothes back and forth to work today, never setting foot in the gym.

But, I tracked my food today and have already planned all my meals for tomorrow. So, that's a good thing. And not eating too much at dinner means I should be in good shape for some yoga tonight.

What else? I learned all about raw milk and cheese making at a local eaters event last night. I've found local grass fed milk, and may take a trek to find the raw milk.

So, I just watched the Biggest Loser which made me cry, again, but now my dinner is digested so I'm going to do some yoga.

And I should probably stop referring to myself as a slug.

The Slug Peers Out Into The Bright Sunlight

Spring is here! It always returns.

I went for my second bike ride of the season today. I went on Wed. on the mountain bike which is heavy and sluggish (a bit like me). But a half hour later my lungs and legs were feeling primed for a spring and summer of flying down the road ways.

Today's ride was on my 10-speed, which is almost 20 years old. I bought it in high school and in the intervenening years I have replaced the seat (post broke going over a pot hole in California), the wheels (stolen when I lived in a sketchy apartment building in CA), the sprockets and brakes and cables and chain (sort of necessary after 20 years). It rides like a dream now and brings me much joy.

Yesterday was more sun and walking 6 miles around Boston. My poor feet have blisters on the bottom despite my good choice of footwear. I want to go to YogaDance tonight and am hoping that I can dance ok despite my injuries.

I have a brisket to cook and want to make this lentil and eggplant dish and hang all the bed clothes out on the line to freshen up in the sun.

Happy Spring!

The Productive Day & The Lazy Day

A post in 2 parts. The first was written Saturday afternoon. The second on Sunday evening.

Saturday:

When I awoke to find that the dog was feeling better (and that I didn't have to scrub the floor in the morning) the day seemed much brighter and better than the ones before it.

I was out and about by 9, trash and recycling to the dump, then to Homegoods for some frames and back home for breakfast by 10:30. I thought of skating, but it seemed to chilly and the house needs tending to. Hot dogs for lunch with cantaloupe and I'm trying make sure I drink plenty of water.

Now I'm working on a genealogy/art project and watching season 9 of BH90210 (with Hillary Swank, Kelly getting shot and then getting amnesia and who knows what else.)

Sunday:

A mostly lazy day. More of the genealogy project. Cleaned the kitchen. Did laundry. Cut grapefruit. But no exercise. No gym. Bah. Tomorrow I'll go after work. But I still need to blog even when I don't exercise.

The Endless Day

Well, not endless (because it's about to end with me going to bed at 8:45pm) but filled with 87 errands and non-ideal meal planning.

Breakfast was kashi and milk. Lunch was hummus and pita (forgot cantaloupe.) Then I rushed out of work after my last client to meet Stacey for a walk. We did a fast (and somewhat chilly) 60 minute walk by the ocean (and in my rush out the door in the morning I hadn't chosen ideal clothes but for once I wasn't boiling hot.)

Then after the walk I rushed home to get the dog to bring her to the vet. I swigged some milk and put some dry kashi in a zip loc bag to eat on the way down to the vet. Drove for 45 minutes to the vet (took a wrong turn and realized that I was driving into a prison) then at the vet for about an hour. After the vet had to stop at Trader Joe's for white rice and chicken for the dog. By that time it was 5:30 and I was hungry. I bought some string cheese and some pretzels and ate those on the way home. Stopped at the dry cleaners and the wine store (come on now) and finally back home. Then made rice and chicken for the dog (Trader Joe's doesn't have plain white rice, so she's getting basmati) and a little pizza for me.

I'll track my food in the morning but a quick glance makes me think I'm within my calories, although I could have used more veggies and probably more water.

Plan for the rest of the night: sleep sleep sleep. And not wake up at 4am. Please.

Plan for tomorrow: clean kitchen, gym, lift weights, read some of my new books.

The dog has already perked up which is good. Here she is among the crocuses last spring.

Good night!

Check Check Check!

Gym?: check! 42 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5-3.9 speed, elevation between 4 and 7 (if it had gone much higher I think I might have hit my head. I was under a low beam.) And I joined so now I have to go.

Calories within range?: check! So 2 days ago I was famished. Today, I'm totally full and have eaten 800 calories less than I did the day I was famished and couldn't stop eating. I guess my body is doing its own calorie cycling, and the week will average out to normal. I had kashi & milk for B. My homemade chile with a last bit of pulled pork and cantaloupe for lunch. Then dinner was: 2 hot dogs, 1 in a bun, hummus and pita and a pickle.

Freakish gained pound gone?: check! Actually 2 pounds are gone for a net loss of one. It's not so much the 1 pound, it's more that I want things to generally move in a downward direction.

Now I'm sleepy and want to lie on the couch and watch 90210 and maybe lift some weights. But there are evening chores to be done. Hopefully by 8 I'll be back on the couch, or on the floor lifting heavy things over my head.

No Snow

I felt like I ate nonstop today. I could not get full for the life of me. I had first breakfast (the weird barley plus) then had Kashi and milk about 2 hours later for second breakfast.

First lunch was hummus with pita. Second lunch was a cut up hot dog and cantaloupe. Somewhere in there I had pickles.

First dinner was more hummus and pita. Second dinner was the best meal of all: seared cabbage and seared bok choy. So so good. The recipe says its addicting and I fear it is.

The good thing was everything I ate was healthy. Fruits and veggies and fiber. The other good thing was that I was at home so I had way more options of what to eat (and there are no cookies at home, only at the office.) I think I need to incorporate more meat into my diet since that keeps me full longer. And maybe have more for breakfast?

And now I'm done eating for the day. I have given my body the fuel it needs. Whatever else it thinks it needs can be met with something other than food, since it's not actual hunger.

I'm packing up some workout clothes for tomorrow so I can go to the gym on the way home.

For Those of You Keeping Score At Home

I've gained a pound. Nice. I'm sure it's from my new quadricep muscles. Or my new triceps. Whatev. I'm joining the gym on Friday.

Breakfast: Barley Plus cereal. It tastes weird.

Lunch: chili and cantaloupe. Or hummus and pita.

Dinner: seared red cabbage and rib eye?

Exercise: shoveling snow.

It's going to snow today. And I'm out of bread and milk. So now I will be one of those people who is at the grocery store buying bread and milk before a storm. Classic.

Other fun things today: reviewing my budget v. actual numbers for January (hmm, I could also review my budget v. actual numbers on Sparkpeople...), billing some hours and drinking tea. Also, coming up with more exciting things to blog about.

I am not the Biggest Loser

It would have been easy to feel like a big loser today. My lunch of lentils, squash and collards just wasn't cutting it. I picked at it but didn't eat all of it. So of course when I came home I was too hungry and ate too much for dinner. It could have spiraled from there but thankfully there are no snacks (or bread or butter) in my house so my dessert was the rest of the grapefruit I had cut up. (BTW, red grapefruit is very sweet and tasty.) Then I pouted and wished for cookies and moved on.

The Biggest Loser is on Hulu tonight so I watched some of it while I cleaned my kitchen and the rest while I lifted my hand weights, stretched and did my sit ups.

I need to be getting more aerobic activity. I hate walking at night in the dark and cold. I am walking or snow shoeing on Friday, but I need something during the week that I'll actually do. I think this means I'll be joining the gym that is located in between work and home. 30 minutes on the treadmill will be good, and if I can get over being creeped out by weight machines that other people have sweated on (even if they clean them off) I will use those too, otherwise I'll keep up with my weights at home. But, something must be done.

Now it's tea and quiet time.

These Are The Days

These are the days I'm glad to come home to a fridge full of prepped food. I'm feeling impecunious and tired of running a business and that is what often leads to "if I have sushi, I'll feel better." Well, that may be true. But what also makes me feel better is not using food as a coping technique, allowing myself to feel crappy while still acting in a way that leads me towards what I value, and healthy things like that.

So I put on my cooking head-scarf and apron. I chop the leeks & zucchini, I thaw the shrimp, I boil the water for the pappardelle and then I'll mix it all together in a happy blend of pink and green. And I have some wine. And I track it in Sparkpeople and blog about it.

It's cold and I want tea. And warmth.

I Can Hear Birds

The last 2 mornings there have been birds chirping outside. A very nice sound, heralding spring.

I woke up with aching quadriceps this morning from the elliptical. All 7 minutes of it. But that was the only muscle that hurt, strangely.

I had eggs for breakfast and some grapefruit and milk. (435)

Lunch is packed: chili, a little pulled pork, collards. Cantaloupe. (450)

Dinner: Lentils, collards and squash?

Off to work!

Pork and Beans

My legs are beginning to catch on the fact that they worked today. I am also figuring out that treadmilling for 30 minutes straight at the same speed (and varying inclines) is a more intense (although shorter) workout than when I hike. I'm never just plowing up the mountain non-stop when I hike. I trod, trudge, meander perhaps and definitely get more of an arm workout with my poles, but aerobically today's workout was quite good for my lungs.

I got my cantaloupe and grapefruit cut for the week. And made some Chile con Elote from The New Laurel's Kitchen. Basically it's an onion & garlic sauteed with 1+ tsp. of chili powder, 1 tsp. cumin then add 1 cup diced tomato, 1 cup corn, 1 chopped pepper, 2 cups mashed black/pinto/kidney beans and 2 cups whole beans. 1.5 tsp salt. Simmer for 30 minutes. So sweet and spicy and yummy. And it can be made with cans of everything - corn, beans, tomato. Perfect for a speedy healthy meal.

I had a little of that with some pulled pork. And some of the spicy cabbage coleslaw from last week. Lots of spice and a little crunch.

Now to clean up the kitchen for what feels like the 7th time today. Then I will clean and chop the greens while I watch some 90210 that came from Netflix. Yes, cheesy tv keeps me entertained in the kitchen.

(And if my former blogging buddy is reading this, consider this a little nudge to start the blog anew, perhaps to record your training for the 3-day and keep me company in the big blogosphere and on the treadmills and sidewalks.)

I Went To the Gym And It Did Not Suck

I decided to experiment with indoor exercise today at the local "fitness room." It can't really be called a gym since it's just a small room in a basement with weight machines, treadmills, and some horrible elliptical thing (which I barely lasted 7 minutes on). I did not fancy spending time getting all dressed in a million layers to brave the 23 degree weather and then getting boiling hot 10 minutes into the walk and spending the next half hour alternately putting on and taking off clothes so I figured I'd see what working out indoors was like.

I asked if I could buy a day-pass, but they don't have those so they let me use it for free to try it out. The treadmills were full so I tried the elliptical. First I think I was going backwards which confused me and felt weird. Then we I went forward I didn't like the motion or the weird way my feet felt on the pads so I was thankful when a treadmill opened up. The treadmill was as it should be, 4 miles an hour with varying inclines. 30 minutes later I was sufficiently sweaty and my lungs knew something had gone on.

For some reason the last couple of days found me consuming sugar in vast quantities. Like a heroin addict going through withdrawal. It seems to have worked itself out and I'm back to the old favorites of squash, kale and lentils. But it's also important to support your local cupcake store.

Breakfast was eggs on toast and coffee.

Lunch is pulled pork (I made it again and added honey to the final sauce. And instead of just plain water I used water, white wine and apple cider vinegar. Yum.), roasted butternut squash and baby lentils.

I have a bunch of kale and collards to wash and prep, 2 grapefruit to chop and some baby bok choy to make into something. And one last cupcake to eat to get it out of the house....

WTF Wednesday

Breakfast: eggs on english muffin.

Lunch: lentils and kale. Much tastier than it sounds. And grapefruit. And some of the cole slaw last night. Very crispy and spicy.

Dinner: Whole Foods Mediterranian Platter at the meeting I'm going to. Yum. Hummus. Baba ganoush, roasted veggies, pita.

Slightly annoyed with technology issues at work. Very pleased with my new bra. I'd call that a wash.

I didnt' do yoga last night. I watched the biggest loser while I cleaned my kitchen and made lunch for the next day and then did about 30 minutes of hand weights, sit ups and stretching.

Mid-Week BBQ

Tonight's dinner: pulled pork that I made over the weekend (200 cal for 3 oz.), on a Vermont Bread Potato Roll (180) with some coleslaw from Veganomicon (cabbage, carrots, pickled jalepeno, a little apple cidar vinegar and salt and pepper) (20 calories?) and some wine. I put the roll in the pan with the pork while it slowly heated and it was quite lovely.

It's a mid week BBQ. And fast. And healthy. It seems like if I had some baked beans that would go really well. I thought that once upon a time I owned a bean pot, but I think on one of my decluttering sprees I got rid of it, sure I would never make baked beans. Hrmph.

I got fitted for and bought 3 amazing new bras today. Yes, amazing, life changing bras. At Bloom, for my local peeps who want to know where to go.

I plan a walk tonight. Even though it is already 7pm. And 23 degrees. Or maybe not after seeing that temp... I commit to washing all the dinner dishes, prepping my lunch and coffee, and doing 30 minutes of yoga before bed. But first I'm going to watch House.

Tuesday Morning

I watched the Biggest Loser last night. I don't have a TV so I'm limited to what is on hulu and that was on. It seems like the most wrong show on the planet. How is it healthy for someone who has never exercised in their life to ride a bike 26 miles? How is it healthy to lose 30 pounds or 6% of your weight in a week? That would be like me losing 10 pounds in a week. Sweet, in 3 weeks I'll be done! I just need to bike until I puke, take some laxatives and diuretics and then tie a semi-truck tire around my waist and drag it across a foot ball field.

Anyway, it entertained/disturbed me while I cooked and cleaned my kitchen. I made French lentils (the tiny green ones) with a rose and spice seasoning, couscous and some more kale. And roasted another butternut squash. I love all those nutritionally dense winter veggies to get us through this dark time before the tiny greens of spring renew us.

And as a reminder to myself, here's the link to the Calorie Cycling calculator.

Monday 1636

Tuesday 1416

Wednesday 1964

Thursday 1636

Friday 1473

Saturday 1800

Sunday 1636

In Which I Discover That I Love Butternut Squash

I've had 2 small butternut squash sitting on my counter for about 3 months. I bought them at the organic farm near my house thinking "Ah, yes, squash. The perfect vegetable to get me through the winter." The hearty souls, they just sat there patiently waiting for me. Because really I was thinking "ew, gross. squash. mealy. stringy. gaggy."

Then I had some butternut squash someone else made. Small cubes. Roasted. Yum. So I cut up those little squash, dice-sized cubes, drizzled with a little olive oil and roasted on 450* until they were nice and caramelized.

I cannot believe I spent so many years not eating this! I mixed it this evening with my some collards & kale that I'd chopped and sauteed with red onion & jalapeno, and some red lentils with garam masala and ate it with some pita. So colorful and perfumey and delicious.

And I figured I'd try tracking in Sparkpeople again and it was so amazingly healthy.

Breakfast: english muffin with peanut butter and milk.

Lunch: Annies mac & cheese, kale, butternut squash.

Dinner: lentils, kale, squash, wine.

I will commit to at least 20 minutes of walking tonight. And I may have had dinner early enough to do some yoga later. And I will bring my ice skates to work tomorrow and go for a spin around the rink after work.

--

Edited to add: I walked for 40 minutes. A flashlight (which doubles as a hand weight) and a pod cast

make quick work of a walk.

Firehouse. Recipe for a cold night.

When I was little, my nana (and then my mom) would make this dish called Firehouse. I always imagined firemen making it, and having to run out in the middle to fight a fire but coming back and finding it still tasty and delishous.

2 pork chops. Mine were pastured from the farm down the street. Salt & pepper the chops.

1 onion, sliced.

3 red potatoes, or 2 larger ones, sliced.

1/2 cup white wine

1/2 cup milk or cream

olive oil

butter

salt

pepper

thyme

This recipe is best salted in layers. I use kosher salt, just sprinkling a little at a time. Using kosher salt with its larger grains helps the dish not get over-salted but still have enough salt

Heat oven to 400

Sear pork chops in a cast iron skillet, 4 minutes per side. Remove from pan. Add onions, a little salt & pepper, tsp or so of thyme, and a little butter, sautee until tender. Add wine & boil for a couple of minutes to reduce. Layer potatoes on top (salt & pepper), add pork chops back to pan. Pour milk or cream over top. Cover with tin foil and put in oven for 15 minutes.

When mine came out of the oven I hadn't reduced the liquid enough, so I simmered it a bit and then added 1 tblsp. of slurry of cornstarch & milk. You want a nice sauce.

Taste and adjust seasoning.

Serve with something green and some bread. And some more of the white wine.

Chilly!

Last weekend at this time I was in the woods of Maine with the fam, seeing the first falling flakes of the season. They kept falling into the night and we awoke to a beautiful snowy day. No snow here, but certainly a chilly day. It has me wondering about frozen ponds and ice skating.

I have not exercised in a while. I thought it was because it was cold, but that's not true. I have plenty of warm winter clothing. Sometimes I am just a lazy slug. The thing is, when snow-showing weather comes, I will wish my lungs were stronger. So, I will commit to some walking this week, even if it is only from parking really far away from Williams Sonoma when I go there to buy myself a sweet hand mixer today. Yeah, because going to the mall 2 weeks before Christmas is an awesome idea!

Breakfast was english muffin with butter and jam.

Lunch is a mystery. Maybe tuna?

Dinner will involve potatoes and leeks - soup maybe?

Lunch!

Last night's frittata, brown rice and beets.

Veggie Fritatta

Tonight's dinner. Serves 2. And is widely adaptable to whatever you have on hand.

1 cup chopped cabbage.

1 large leek, chopped.

6 or so mushrooms, chopped.

Small onion.

4 Eggs, beaten.

Salt & pepper & herbs to taste.

Sautee veggies in a little butter or oil, with salt, until soft. Taste veggies and adjust seasoning. Add eggs, shaking pan around to distribute eggs. Or, put veggies in a bowl, add eggs, stir and add mixture back into pan. Cover and cook over low heat until cooked through. Serve with salsa, kim chi, cheese, or whatever else you please.

Each serving: 240 calories, 15g carbs, 15g Fat, 14g protein. 6g Fiber.

Could probably use a grain on the side for more fiber and calories. I had mine with a whole wheat english muffin. And a glass of wine.

Coucous, Veggies & Fish

That's what I ate over the summer when I lost the 15 pounds. And I biked a lot. And did more yoga. Shouldn't be that hard to do again. I like couscous and veggies and fish. Yes, the winter vegetables are different but leeks and cabbage are lovely foods, and broccoli and kale are available, and all the lovely peppers I froze over the summer.

And, sure, it's too cold for biking and it's dark in the mornings and early in the afternoons but there are other options - walking in places where there are lights and not just in the woods, taking advantage of day light on the weekends, being ready for snowshoe weather.

The key is to just remember what I did back then (and it's all tracked on Sparkpeople, so I can read it) and do it now. And keep doing it. Easy peasy, right?

Last night's yoga was a lovely relaxing practice from Shiva Rea's Drops of Nectar. I'm going to do 21 days of yoga to get me started. Even just a few minutes a day, since I know that gets me down the path.

Plan:

B: Kashi's version of Grape Nuts & milk.

L: remainder of leek casserole, beets & something protein-ish.

D: something with the eggs I cracked this morning before realizing I wanted cereal. Maybe a veggie frittata?

E: Yoga, sit ups, maybe a walk.

Slowly but Surely

Yoga last night for 25 minutes. I know that I start off slow, going to the mat before I actually want to go to the mat. Feeling agitated and wanting the practice to be over, but sticking with it because I know what it leads to over time - strength, flexibility, contentedness, a sense of well being that pervades everything.

Plan for the day:

B: english muffin with almond butter.

L: leek casserole w/ boiled beets on the side.

D: sauteed leeks and mushrooms and cabbage with rice or something. And turkey?

E: sit ups, lift hand weights, yoga.

I was awake at 4am for a bit, then awake for the day at 7:30 and am now running quite behind.

Um, yeah

In surveying the results of this body neglect, we are pleased to find that only 4 pounds have been gained since last checking in, and not the 20 it feels like. The amount of flab that accumulated in the wake of the muscles making their exit is not quite so pleasing.

So, we return to the yoga mat, we return to the hills, we return to lifting weights and shooing the dog off the rug so we can do sit ups. We return to being more mindful of what goes in our mouth. We begin with willingness, not waiting for motivation.

Plan:

B: english muffin, almond butter, jam

L: leek casserole, potatoes

D: Turkey. Roast beets.

E: weights lifted this morning. walk or yoga this afternoon.

Belly Aching

I don't know what it wrong with my stomach. Ever since Friday it has felt weird. At the top part of my stomach like heartburn or a hangover, but it's not either of those things. Eating doesn't help. Not eating doesn't help. An hour long walk in the woods didn't help. I may go out in search of Tums or something after a shower.

I'm trying to figure out what to make with eggplant. I love to buy them, and they have such pretty varieties at the farm stand. Maybe a small batch of eggplant parm. The recipe from Laurel's Kitchen is good - no frying needed so it goes together quickly.

I'm having some fresh corn ravioli for lunch with some cold salmon from last night's dinner. The temptation when I feel like this is to keep eating, hoping that it will help. But since I know it won't, I'm going to track my calories and stay within my goal. And hope that tomorrow brings wellness.

Still working on eating enough at breakfast and lunch so I'm not starving at dinner. Since this is my constant dilemma, you'd think I'd be better at solving it by now. But alas.

Anyway, I had shrimp fajitas for dinner. Lots of veggies, even if the tortillas were a bit high in calories.

And I walked the dog for about 15 minutes which is a start. I just wish I didn't start so slowly every time. And fall off track so easily.

I hate eating so much for dinner because it leaves me too full too long to do yoga in the evenings.

Tomorrow morning I will review the meals I was eating earlier this summer when this was easier, to get me back on track.

Oh, Hi.

I stocked up on veggies tonight at Whole Foods. I missed the farm stand on account of a wedding, catered by Red Bones (yum!). I am roasting some cauliflower with crushed red peppers to have on hand for lunches, and am going to make some whole wheat cous cous to get me through the week. Shrimp was on sale, so I'll peel and devein that for lunches or dinners. And I have some eggplant ravioli from Nella Pasta which is made locally.

The plan is some yoga before bed. I haven't done any in a while and I can feel my back being tighter and my sleep not being as good.

I would like to say that while my blogging slacked off, my exercising didn't - but that would be a lie. So, I'll say that I intend to do yoga before bed. I intend to remember what my routine is like when I'm in the habit of exercising and easily tracking my food. I intend to continue taking good care of my body and being mindful of what goes in it.

Why I Count Calories

So in the midst of horrible humidity and heat that affect my disposition like nothing else, I slacked off on tracking my foods. My weight has remained steady but I could tell that things were off. I was ravenous at times, yet never feeling really satisfied no matter what I ate.

And then it dawned on me that when I track my food I can make sure that I'm eating enough at breakfast and lunch so that I'm not too hungry when I get home for dinner. The last few days I haven't had enough at lunch to keep me going until evening, so when I get home I'm famished. And then I didn't plan enough protein at dinner, so what I ate didn't fill me up.

I'm going back to tracking. I know it works for me. I can't just "intuitively" spend money, and I can't just "intuitively" eat. I mean, I can form general meals in my head, but then I need to track them so I can tweak as necessary to add more proteins or fats or fiber to make sure my body is getting what it needs.

Plus, when I track I eat more veggies, so that's reason enough.

Starting The Week Off Right!

My cold/sinus thing is gone. Yay! Wonderful way to start the week. And I finally put the AC in the window so I could feel human and cook and clean. It made such a difference. I don't usually need it unless it gets over 90 for a few days, but it is a very nice thing to have when it does get that hot. Now that the sun has set, the windows are open again.

I julienned a bunch of veggies - carrots, zucchini, beets - and steamed them before adding a little butter. Then I poached some salmon, and made some fresh ravioli that I got at the farmer's market. What a lovely meal! Everything except the fish was local. The fish was from Trader Joe's which means it was probably horribly harvested and over-fished but I like to think that it all balances out. The meal will be repeated at lunch tomorrow.

Then at 6pm I biked down to the beach for a swim. It may have been the best swim of the last couple years. The water was so perfectly chilling after this hot and humid day, the sun was quiet again and on it's way down. Not too many people, just enough to say "isn't this heavenly?" to. (Well, and that weird chatty guy. But by then I was so happy to be floating in the water that I chatted right back.) I swam and floated for almost 40 minutes, until the goosebumps came and the veins in my wrists that had been so valiantly trying to cool me down all day were thin as pencil lines. I rode home without drying off, and after a quick shower to get the salt off me I can say that I am sufficiently chilled. The goosebumps are still on my arms and legs.

I am hoping the swimming and biking will lead to peaceful sleep. As I was floating around I thought "I could sleep in the water, it is so peaceful" but I think that would lead to drowning. There was a sail boat moored in the cove, and I wondered if people would sleep on it.

Being in the water just makes me happy. And being chilled and tired when I get out of the water makes me happy.

169.8

Down 1.4 pounds and out of the 170's baby!

And this is my thought - this process has been fairly painless. I'm well fed, I'm exercising how I want to, when I want to and the weight is coming off slowly but surely. So what they heck was I doing before? Was I really eating that much more? Was I that much of a slug (ok, the answer to that might be yes) but I don't feel as though I've made drastic changes and yet changes are happening.

Still no need for new clothing sizes, and I bought a new bra (love!) and have not gone down a size. And not one person has noticed that I've lost weight. Or if they haven't they haven't said anything.

I guess that's the down side to being tall, you can carry a lot more weight, but you need to take off a lot more weight before anyone notices.

Still blowing my nose a lot but feeling much much better.

Plan for the day: more coffee and breakfast, decluttering, cleaning, trip to the dump/recycling, farmer's market for some flowers (last week's bunch lasted all week!) and then we'll see.

Aaah, Sleep

I slept through the whole night! What a joy. I wonder if it was because I listened to the Yoga Nidra relaxation from Drops of Necter. Whatever the reason, I am very pleased to have slept all night and I woke up feeling much better. This cold has moved out quite quickly, I will remember that and be sure to head to the acupuncturist at the first sign of illness and not wait until it has a chance to settle in.

Sunny weekend in store. Maybe an early hike tomorrow before some decluttering at home?

Still losing weight despite lack of exercise. Down .6 pounds this week. Almost out of the 170's.

Sick

Ugh. I have a summer cold. Which is hopefully on it's way out. It was terrible yesterday so I went to acupuncture which seemed to get things moving. And then I followed the doc's instructions to drink 2 cups of ginger tea to try to sweat it out of me. And I kept my wool hat on all night to protect my aching ear and increase the sweat. But I slept like crap - from 10:30 - 3, then maybe 4:30 - 8. Today was a little better, lots of psuedoephedrine kept me awake and my nose not too runny.

The result of all this is that it has not helped me exercise more, although it does make me not hungry. But I would rather be hungry and not sick.

I do think that being sick gives me the benefit of being glad and appreciative of health when I feel better.

zumba-less

There was no zumba tonight. It was too hot for the sweaty rec center, and then I was going to go walking after work but the skies were rather foreboding so I didn't. Actually, that's a lie. I walked with the dog for a bit, and could see the mist rolling in and the skies darkening which is when I decided against biking down for a swim.

I did 40 minutes of yoga last night.

I need to get back on the bike. Back on the trails. Back on the mat. I can feel my muscles turning back to mush.

My eating is fine - I seem to eat about 1500 calories a day without really struggling one way or the other.

And I may be coming down with a summer cold caused by too much air conditioning at the office.

Funk-Be-Gone

So my little Sunday night pity party is done. Back in the groove. Sort of. Still haven't worked out in a few days. But zumba tomorrow night, so that should help.

Made a veggie tart last night which will be good for cold meals this week.

Today's food:

B: english muffin with almond butter.

L: veggie tart and a hard boiled egg.

S: 1 oz. cheddar cheese

D: I don't know. I'm hungry. I have shrimp. And veggies. And pasta. Or chicken and veggies and orzo.

I think dinner will be shrimp and veggies with pasta. Lunch will be chicken and veggies with pasta.

I just start chopping veggies and wait for whatever wants to join them to make itself known.

---

Dinner was shrimp, veggies and tagliatelle which is my new favorite pasta. It cooks in only 4 minutes, but is wide (not skinny like angel hair.)

Hopefully it will cool down a bit later and I can get in some yoga.

Not There Yet

Beware, this is a post in which I complain and generally feel unappreciative towards my body which does so much for me. But I know it will understand.

I tried to go shopping today for new clothes. I should know better than to try to buy things at the TJMaxx Runway section where the size run smaller and are made for women with a much smaller chest than mine. So, I tried on pants and discovered that losing 10 pounds meant that the 12's no longer fit me, and the 10's don't quite fit me. Great. I am an 11. Which would be fine if they made 11's.

And the cute pink dress I found to wear to my brother's wedding just looked like a big lumpy potato sack on a big lumpy potato.

So, I returned my 7 items to the rack, and wandered into shoes, where I got some great shoes to replace a few pairs that were getting tired.

And forward I trudge.

Recommitting

I need to recommit. This week has been a slow slide off the rails. Exercise got pushed aside. Yesterday's 1/2 eaten lunch caused way too much dinner and not even an attempt to track. I can hear a little voice saying "You've lost 10 pounds, you're fine. You can stop now."

But I don't want to. I like the way my body feels when I exercise more. I like not going to bed uncomfortably full. I am committed to this. And I have a plan.

I will spend the morning at the Farmer's Market, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's restocking my kitchen. I will chop fruit and veggies to have on hand. I will plan some meals so when I come home I can just cook and not wonder what to make.

And I will bike or yoga or lift weights.

- .2

Hey, I'll take it. Considering I only exercised twice this week, I couldn't really expect more.

Dinner Quandry

I can't figure out what to have for dinner. Tomorrow I can go and buy some new and exotic things to cook but tonight the salmon is staring back at me from the fridge and I don't want to cook it. And I don't want zucchini. Or anything involving english muffins. Or tuna. Or couscous. Or beets. Or chicken.

I want spicy shrimp over polenta with okra. But I have no shrimp. I want a grilled ham and cheese but I have no ham and no cheese.

I want to go to Kripalu for the Ecstasy of Chant: Get High on Mantra. How amazing would that be? I believe this weekend I will be making my reservations.

...

Well, I've settled on salmon and some paparadelle pasta.

Tomorrow will clearly involve a trip to Whole Foods and perhaps a perusal of some cookbooks to get me out of my rut of the same foods. I will stock my freezer and pantry full of new and interesting things, and maybe freeze some small flatbreads that I can turn into a quick meal.

This week has been a low exercise week. So I think I'm heading out with the dog for a little jaunt.

no zumba

no moving

no packing

no cleaning

no worries

no stress

no nothing to do for anyone else tonight. or tomorrow morning. my time is mine again. my weekends are mine. my worries will be about me and things that I can control, not about a parent who can hopefully take care of himself from here on out.

I have a big fat new book, The Forgotten Garden, that wants to be read.

And some Louise Hay Power Thought Cards that somehow always know the right thing to tell me: "I breathe in the fullness and richness of life. I observe with joy as life abundantly supports me and supplies me with more good than I can imagine."

Today's meals:

B: whole milk drunk out of the carton, whole wheat english muffin with PB& J eaten in the car on the way to work.

L: cold salad of whole wheat cous cous, salmon salad, beets and avocado. (one of the best meals ever.)

D: chicken thighs, couscous, zucchini & beets. boring but satisfactory. goat cheese toast on the side. wine.

I don't really seem to be calorie cycling this week, just staying within my range. And that's ok.

zumbaaaaaaahhhhh

Back to moving again today. A tired and hungry and hot zumba session, but the thing about zumba or yoga or hiking or biking is that no matter how miserable I am during it, I never regret going.

I know that next time I will have fueled myself better during the day, and brought *cold* water and remembered my towel but for now I will just be glad I went.

One final moving chore tomorrow morning which will prevent morning biking, and the tides don't seem right for an afternoon swim so I'm not sure what tomorrow holds in store. Maybe get back on the yoga mat.

Hoping zumba leads to some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's.

Lazy Days

I've decided to not go to yoga. I have been out of my house all day the last 3 weekends (cleaning and lugging) and I really just want to stay home (plus, I'm going to zumba tomorrow night. woot!) So, I took a late afternoon nap and will make dinner soon.

Dinner: chicken thighs sauteed with mushrooms, zucchini, onion and capers with a little milk over some farro pasta. And cantaloupe for dessert.

All Dressed Up But Not Going

I have my bike clothes on. But I can't get moving and I've decided to bag the ride. I may be having a slight existential crisis.

I've decided to pack a bag with workout clothes and then either do zumba or yoga at 5:45 tonight. I'm thinking yoga is what I need.

Breakfast: english muffin with almond butter. milk.

Snack: cantaloupe and cucumber.

Lunch: beets, salmon, whole wheat cous cous.

Dinner: chicken thighs and mushrooms?

Crazy Days

These last 2 days have been crazy. My dad is moving out of his house where he's lived for the last 40 years so my siblings and I have been helping to clean and pack and watch toddlers and make sure the dog doesn't run away and go back and forth about what to toss and what to keep and somewhere in all that eating just goes by the wayside. (Wine and beer drinking strangely don't go by the wayside) but the end result was I got home last night at 10 pm. having had about 1000 calories over a day that involved a 50 minute bike ride, a 45 minute round trip walk to the beach and lots of throwing stuff into the dumpster (and squirreling away the sterling silver into my car.)

Today was slightly better. Breakfast of eggs and goat cheese on english muffin, a little cheese and few crackers for lunch and then finally home to then unpack, cull and repack into pretty boxes the photos, letters and papers from generations past. There is a pile of sterling to be polished, but that will have to wait.

Right before I passed out from hunger I made dinner - shrimp, leeks, mushrooms, zucchini, tagliatelle pasta with a little butter and parmesan cheese. Ah, finally veggies. I still need to make some things for lunch for the week. Maybe roast some veggies, poach some salmon and cook a grain. I may have to make something that involved thinly slicing veggies on my new-to-me mandoline slicer.

And then I have to sleep.

10 pounds?

Early poll results are showing that I have lost 10 pounds.

Which just goes to show that if you have a big tantrum and then have over 100 grams of fat in one day (and do zumba), you will finally lose 2 pounds in one week and be back on the downward track.

Yay.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Plan for the Day

Today's Plan:

1. Coffee (in progress)
2. Bike Ride (on road bike, unless roads are wet, then on hybrid)
3. Recycling & trash to the dump
4. Buy light bulbs (2 in my living room burned out this morning.)
5. Help Pa clean out the house with the fam, and have yummy food. I have some beets, fresh onions and zucchini to bring for roasting.
6. Not sure what the tides will be like for swimming down there, may need to go this evening after I get home.
7. Laugh at the fact that the scale is down to the lowest number yet on this journey. Down 1.4 from last week. Finally. When I looked back at Sparkpeople to figure out what was going on, I noticed that the calorie differential report (the difference between my intake and output) showed that during the weeks that I hadn't lost, my average calorie intake per day was about 200 calories lower than on the weeks that I had been losing. So, I guess upping my calories this week, in addition to cycling them, worked.

Bodies are weird and funny.